The Nutshack I Called Home
by Liquidtox1n
Summary: An evil looms over a hopeless city. Can icons from the Nutshack, Evangelion, Pokemon, Loud House, Dragonball Z, iCarly, Steven Universe, Sonic the Hedgehog, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, and Youtube repel this great terror? Only a tried and true way can tell us for certain. Rated M for the abundance of adult themes.
1. Chapter 1 - Home is where the nuts are

Author's Notes: Thank you for checking out this story of mine. I own nothing. The intent behind its creation is to have an over-the-top narrative that still manages to entertain readers throughout the entire thing. This is my first story and my first chapter, so any and all criticism and feedback is welcomed.

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It was a bright and sunny day at Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. All the imaginary critters woke up excited for a new day of adventure. Even Leafyishere took a break from his "content" and decided to tag along with all the other wonderfully thought-up fabrications for breakfast. Everyone gathered around the large table and was poised to consumer their morning comestibles in an expedited fashion. All of a sudden, the earth beneath everybody's feet shook rapidly. Ramiel, the 5th angel, had begun its vicious attack against the city.

"Not another one!" the young and red-headed Frankie Foster proclaimed. "I wanna see, I wanna see!" said Bloo, paying the gravity of the situation no mind. "Can you act normal for once in your life?" Mac, Bloo's creator, scoffed to his little indigo companion. "Pfffft, whatever, nerd." replied the little blue bastard. At this moment, Frankie took the time to redirect every imaginary friend in the house to safety, regardless if they possessed a chin.

Ramiel continued unimpeded in its destruction of the city. Meanwhile, a blue hedgehog was zooming through as fast as he can to the trilateral bully. "Tails, I need a Chaos Emerald!" said Sonic to his twin-tailed amigo. "Here, Sonic!" exclaimed Tails, as he threw the glowing object to his best friend. Sonic used the power of the Chaos Emerald to transform into Super Sonic and launched a powerful Dash Attack into the air, directly at Ramiel. With his A.T. Field glittering, Ramiel deflected the attack like it was nothing and launched Sonic like a bowling ball.

"Urk." moaned Sonic as he got up from the ground, "he's too tough." He thought to himself. All of a sudden, Ramiel began to glow with a magnificent light. "Get out of there, Sonic!" yelled Tails to his friend. Unexpectedly, a black and gold EVA swooped in and punched Ramiel so hard that it recoiled back and collapsed. "Sooo, you wanna mess with my city, eh?" proclaimed Tito "Dickman" Dick. "Well, you have to go through me first!" yelled Tito in his thick Filipino accent. "And I'm hard." he continued.


	2. Chapter 2 – Anti-humanity

Tito, feeling tightness in both his heart and his scrotum, moved his EVA unit to lunge at Ramiel and drove the algebraic angel into the ground. Then, he unleashed a volley of punches so fast and so hard, that the entire city heard nothing but sonic booms every few seconds. Ramiel refused to not reprimand this rabble-rouser and snap, crackle, and popped itself into a jagged series of edges in hopes of disemboweling Tito along with his EVA.

Tito, however, was much quicker and ended up performing a backwards aerial dodge just in the nick of time to make Ramiel's counterattack useless, or so he thought. Although he was quick, Tito was not quick enough. Ramiel managed to severely injure the EVA's left arm, barely managing to disable it. "Tch…..what a nuisance." Tito thought to himself. "I gotta end this quick, my favorite porn model is starting her webcam show soon." Tito told Ramiel, expecting the geometric, alien fuck to understand.

"Hnnnggg," hissed Tito in anger and pain as he ripped off his own damaged EVA's arm, baking the buildings and streets underneath him in a very warm and unexpected sea of blood, nerves, and bone fragments. Tito then started flailing the hand around like a dildo between his legs. Far away from the chaos, but still somewhat entranced by it, idubbbz, cozying it up in his home not too far from where Ramiel landed, took a little peek from his window at what was going on and thought to himself "well, that's fuckin' gay," as he went back to filming himself eating carrots and seasoned insects for his camera.

Tito said "I'll give you something to whine about," and then jumped high into the air. At one moment, even Ramiel looked confused. Tito held the severed EVA hand like a greatsword, clapped his ass-cheeks along with his EVA's, and plunged his makeshift blade directly at Ramiel, hoping to slam its core wide open. "What's that idiot doing now?" said a shadowy figure monitoring all this action from the comfort of his screen. "You know he likes to employ unorthodox combat techniques," retorted a blue-haired woman, "in fact, it's part of the reason you took great interest in him," she continued.

"There's a limit to how much unorthodox one could get," stated the shadowy figure to no one in particular. "I hope he doesn't get himself killed. What a waste of resources that would turn out to be," thought the shadowy figure to himself. Ramiel hissed, cracked, screamed, and turned itself into a seemingly large onahole, to tank Tito's attack. Tito's massive girth all came down on Ramiel, the AT Fields from both parties colliding charismatically. It was a particularly dreary day, however, the sun felt the need to smile upon the world as Ramiel's corpse littered its corners.


End file.
